using the term ‘yolo’ sarcastically so often that you’re really not sure if you’re joking or not now
It’s actually a good thing that the zombie apocalypse starts in Florida because then the zombies only have one way to go and that’s straight up into trigger happy redneck territory. I give it two weeks before monster trucks and mullets save us.
how to summon pigeon satan:
- draw pentagram
- sprinkle bread crumbs over pentagram
life becomes a little bit more beautiful once you realize that there is two people sharing a bowl of salsa in the logo
i was more excited when i found the arrow in fed ex
no, how about when I realized that the arrow in amazon was pointing from a to z (saying that they sell anything from a to z)
i like the google logo because it is colorful
- My Dad: If Tim Burton directed The Hunger Games he would cast Johnny Depp as Katniss.
if i die and people post statuses about me on facebook and act like they knew me or were nice to me i will come back and fucking murder them
“When I get mad at my mom, I don’t slam the door or yell “I HATE YOU MOM!” I just quietly go into my room and flicker the light switch on and off. That’s right, raise that bitch’s electricity bill.”
Tim Burton should just make a movie called ‘Johnny Depp’.
plot twist: Johnny Depp is played by Helena Bonham Carter